I sit, alone, on my bed in my room, watching Fox New Channel. No, not because it's AWESOME. For me, Fox is a very strange thing. I liken it to having a sore, welting black fly bite, or a big poison ivy blister. You want to scratch SO bad, and even though you're not supposed to, you do anyway. And the resulting sensation is pain, but a satisfying pain. 'hurts so good, Bill
O'Reilly, make it hurt so good,..." I can not stand anything that man says, every word of it spewing out like disease, from that smug asshole face of his. I am a person of peace and tranquility, but even I have limits, and Bill
O'Reilly is the one person, who if I met in person, I would have to fight back the strong urge to just punch him in the face. Right in that ignorant, self
righteous, asshole face. And yet, here I am, watching him. It really is an odd phenomenon. Everything he says, I yell at the screen in useless
rebuttal, becoming increasingly upset. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but how is it even possible for someone to have their head quite that far up their own ass? Finally, I click over the channel to Family Guy before I have a stroke...throw the remote on the bed and go check on the kids. They're both sleeping quietly, which is a relief, because they have both been constantly sick this winter. But right now, they are happy and resting. Sweet. Time to raid the liquor cabinet. They say it's bad to drink alone, but honestly I hate being home alone. I am petrified of being alone in the house at night, and I'm pretty sure a little bedtime drink will take the edge off. Dean has been pulling all-
nighters to catch up on the job, so we can hopefully catch up on mortgage and bills, and maybe even go grocery shopping! There is only so much
ramen noodle I can take. And I love
ramen noodles. (Don't worry, the liquor is from a gift card, I'm not that crappy a parent. ) Not that it would matter if he were here, it would still be silent. See, we are having one of those cold shoulder showdowns, where we are both holding out till the other gives in, the original quarrel that started it long since forgotten, but the winter doldrums make us extra obstinate. Like that barenaked ladies song, one week. "It'll still be 2 days till I say I'm sorry"....I bet they wrote that in January.
Yes. A bottle of Captain Morgan. Not something I'm familiar with, it was Deans' pick, but hey, there's a handsome pirate on the front, and he's looking at me like I could use a little
capn' in me. Who am I to argue? I turn to grab a shot glass...then dismiss the idea. Nah. Having the blues needs a shot glass. Stubbing my toe needs a shot glass. January? January says take the whole damn bottle with you. Yes
indeedy.
I return to the bedroom with my booty, and practically trip over the cats, who are breaking into a fight. 'Cut it out!' I scold, and one takes off across the room, them climbs the door jam and hangs there like a monkey. Yup, cabin fever has officially set in. 'Well, climb the walls if you want, but you're gonna have to chill out, it's 5 degrees outside. So either get along or die' she jumps down and skulks off, she won't mess with me and the
Capn'. It's January. I'm not screwing around in January.
A swig off the bottle....not bad!
Spicy and strong, without the jet fuel
after burn of whiskey. Oh, what a wonderful new friend I have made. I wink at the captain, and he winks back at me. Time for a hot shower. I bring the bottle with me (it would be rude to let my new friend out of my sight)and set it on the counter. After a long hot soak I come back out, reach for my brush, and then...
noooooo! I knock the bottle...it does the movie style-slow-mo teeter, before heading down. It does a 10 second tumble bouncing off my fumbling hands and the counter, and I desperately yell, 'Not the rum!' without even
conciously thinking about it,before finally catching it. I break out in hysterical tipsy laughter over this. See? it really does put a little
capn' in ya. Not the rum?
ohhhh, that's pretty good, right?
I go back to my bed, guitar on my lap, captain by my side, and start playing some music. That always calms me down. The music makes my stress retreat for the night, so I can finally get some sleep.
It would be so nice if we could just hibernate...at least for January.
