Ahhh, the holidays...

'Twas the Night Before Christmas in the ol' dutton house
The kids were all sleeping, so we slowly got soused.
A bottle of champagne so big and so cheap,
we knew the next day we'd need 3 aspirin each.
We made naughty snowflakes, not quite a 'holy night'task,
"Is there a penis in this flake???" dear old Santy would ask.
We sang Christmas carols and a few slipknot songs,
when I could no longer strum, I handed the guitar to John.
When out on the lawn, there arose sucha clatter,
we all sprang outside to see what was the matter.
Dean had fallen off the porch, but had a grin ear to ear,
"naked nativity!" he cried (the tab had broken from his beer)
Then from up on the roof, we heard the jingle of bells.
Santa peeked over the top, and said, "what the hell?!?!"
"Don't you all know that it's 4 in the morn?
The kids will be up soon!" he said with such scorn.
So down came the fellow with his big bag of toys,
and he shooed us all in, all us bad girls and boys.
Then he made us clean up, every can, every scrap,
all while he sat with a beer in his lap.
When the house was all clean, he tucked us in bed,
and set out the toys and then kissed all our heads.
Then he rose up the chimney (with Dean's Guinness in hand)
and away Santy went to other parts of the land.
But we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas Dutton house, and to all a good night!"